Horizons magazine is published by Presbyterian Women (PW) the national women’s organization of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).
Issue link: http://horizons.epubxp.com/i/623149
38 M y heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me. . . . And I say, "O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest . . . It is not enemies who taunt me— I could bear that . . . But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend, with whom I kept pleasant company . . . . —Psalm 55:4–14 T he anguish of intimate partner vio- lence is acute. Nancy Troy knows. Pam, a member of Nancy's congrega- tion, still feels the pain eight years after her mother was killed by her husband of 47 years. Only now is Pam able to speak publicly about her mother's death. In October (Domestic Violence Awareness Month), Nancy's congrega- tion, Briargate Presbyterian Church, in Louisville, Kentucky, held a workshop for the community and Pam told her mother's story. "It was difficult for her," Nancy says, but it was good for the community. Briargate, Nancy says, has experienced significant loss (10 to 15 percent of the congregation have lost children to murder, suicide or war). "The church is full of people who put their arms around each other and love each other." Nancy's congregation is not unusual. According to a 2014 LifeWay Research study, 74 percent of Protes- tant pastors know family, friends or church members who have experienced domestic or sexual violence.* Yet, 65 percent of pastors surveyed speak to their church about such violence once a year or less. Why the silence? Accord- ing to the study, while 72 percent of pastors think such violence is a prob- lem in the community, only 25 percent say it is a problem in their church. Just 40 percent say seminary provided them with sufficient resources to address sit- uations of domestic violence. Fewer than half are familiar with local resources that address such violence. Nancy is decidedly not silent. She was ordained to ministry at the Center for Women and Families (CWF) in Louisville in 1998, which provides a variety of residential and nonresidential services for survivors in Kentucky and Indiana. In 2000, Nancy joined the staff of the Presbyterian Health, Edu- cation and Welfare Association (PHEWA), where she helped launch the Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence Network (PADVN). After leaving that position, she has continued to volunteer for the network. Pastors, she says, should "break the silence"—that is, talk about domestic and sexual violence—from the pulpit. "Hearing sermons about stopping domestic violence reminds survivors that God cares, that they are not alone, and that this church is a safe place to come for help." Nancy emphasizes that pastors need training on responding appropriately. According to the Life- Way survey, couples counseling is the most common response by pastors (60 percent), but this poses a risk for those w ho have been abused. Nancy says victims who "out" their abuser often suffer retali- ation. In addition to talking about violence, churches should partner with local experts and organizations serving survivors, then refer victims to those services, Nancy says. "Pastors have to be talked into this, to recognize that it is in their congrega- tions," Nancy says. She says PW groups are in a perfect position to help educate the congregation. "Invite speakers, tackle the theological issues, hold studies," she says. To pastors, she says "Domestic violence causes a crisis of faith and we have the resources to bring healing. Don't be afraid to refer, refer, refer." Yvonne Hileman is PW assistant editor. Note * Bob Smietana, "Pastors Seldom Preach Against Domestic Violence," LifeWay Research; June 27, 2014; www.lifewayresearch.com/2014/06/27/pas- tors-seldom-preach-about-domestic-violence. Hearts in Anguish t t t BY YVONNE HILEMAN w o r k i n g f o r j u s t i c e a n d p e a c e Presbyterians Against Domestic Violence (PADVN)— www.pcusa.org/padvn Faith Trust Institute— www.faithtrustinstitute.org National Domestic Violence Hotline— 800/799-7233; www.thehotline.org National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)—www.ncadv.org