January/February 2016
17
T
w
o people walk into two differ-
e
nt places of worship. In each
place, someone greets the new-
comer with friendly smiles and words of
w
elcome. Both worshiping communities
study the same verses of sacred text.
Both communities sing songs, observe
rituals and offer prayers. Beyond these
surface similarities, the two places of
worship are very different. One person
has joined a worshiping community that
will lead her on a journey of self-doubt,
heartache and loss. She will experience
spiritual abuse. The other person has
just started a journey that will lead to
personal growth and increased joy. She
will experience an environment that is
spirituality healthy.
The question is, how can a person
identify a healthy group from one that is
spiritually abusive? And if someone falls
prey to spiritual abuse, what can a per-
son do to heal? What can we (as individ-
uals and as representatives of worshiping
communities and Presbyterian Women)
do to help a person recover from spiri-
tual abuse?
Healthy or Unhealthy
Spirituality?
Healthy spirituality is identified by its
openness. It is spacious and welcoming.
There is a focus on love for all humanity.
There is humility, flexibility and willing-
ness to change and grow. Healthy spiritu-
ality involves the same qualities you
would see in a healthy relationship:
respect, equality, transparency, mutual
accountability, encouragement, assistance,
honesty, generosity and kindness.
Healthy spirituality helps people grow;
it allows them to change their beliefs, or
disagree, and still be beloved members of
the family. Scripture is read through a
lens that includes the historical context,
the original language, what we know
through science and what is revealed in
the lives of the faithful. Healthy groups
use a wide range of teaching that helps
HEALTHY
SPIRITUALITY
THWARTED
Understanding and Recovering
from Spiritual Abuse
BY KAREN WANJICO