Horizons magazine is published by Presbyterian Women (PW) the national women’s organization of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).
Issue link: http://horizons.epubxp.com/i/481579
38 W hile I was in seminary, trying to figure out what the future would hold, I had lunch with the min- ister from my home church, who was also a friend and mentor. He said something to me that I have never for- gotten: "If you want to show people that women have every right to be ministers, then don't try to be a great female minister; just be the most effec- tive minister you can be." I took his advice to heart. It was empowering and liberating to know that it didn't have to be my job to con- vince people that women are as capa- ble as men. All I had to do was be faithful to my vocation and to the gifts God had given me. Until my first pregnancy, I believed that my vocation was prima- rily about my career. My assessment of whether I was "successful" was based on my professional accomplish- ments. Then I gave birth, and my desire to define myself by my career didn't just wane or fade, it evaporated. Nothing in the world mattered as much as caring for this brand new, totally dependent, utterly helpless human being. I suddenly realized what my mom had meant when, dur- ing my pregnancy, she would smile knowingly and say, "You are going to love this baby like you've never loved anyone before." It turned out that this single- minded focus was temporary, but what wasn't temporary was the way it per- manently altered my sense of vocation. Ultimately, becoming a mother didn't change my sense of call, but it severely complicated it. As a mother with a career, I wrestle with the interplay of my professional calling to ministry and my personal calling to motherhood. My generation of women was empowered by being told we could do and be anything we wanted. This was true to a point. Capable women have enriched every industry with their approaches and perspectives. But now that we have a fuller understanding of the challenges of balancing our careers with our relationships—be they mar- riage, parenthood or friendship—I believe we better empower our children by being honest with them about some of the difficult choices they will make as they move into adulthood. One of the many unique gifts of the Judeo-Christian tradition is that we do not portray our ancestors in the faith as infallible. The biblical stories of Abraham and Sarah all the way through to those of the apostle Paul show us real people struggling mightily to follow God's call, often making terrible mistakes along the way. I find it incredibly empowering to have these stories that show, over and over again, that God calls people who are utterly human, nowhere near perfect, and prone to doubt. So how empowering might it be for our children if we are honest with them about the challenges of balancing all the roles to which God calls us? How might it change their experience if they expect to have to struggle and sacrifice and make mistakes as they try to integrate their personal and professional voca- tions? How liberating might it be for our children to redefine success? How liberating might it be for us? Amy Starr Redwine is pastor of the Church of the Covenant in Cleveland, Ohio. She lives with her husband and three children. f a i t h f u l p a r e n t i n g Mentors in Empowerment t t t B Y AMY STARR REDWINE Mentoring Medicine, Leah Dorian