Horizons magazine is published by Presbyterian Women (PW) the national women’s organization of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).
Issue link: http://horizons.epubxp.com/i/347354
d e v o t i o n "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love." —1 John 4:18 C onfession: I lack perfection in love. I have fear—a lot of fear. Some of my fear has been with me since my earliest memories. At times, fear has clung to me—and I to it, I realize in hindsight—so tightly that nothing could separate us. I am not proud of this; neither am I the first, or last, person to feel trapped in the twisted carnival fun- house, a.k.a. house of horrors, that is fear. And I, having achieved a black belt in Being Afraid, am aware that I have relatively little to be afraid of. My life has been played out mostly in safe suburban settings, without firsthand brushes with violence and crime. In my lifetime, war has never been fought on or near my home, neighbor- hood or country. I have not been enslaved or abused by criminals. Does this mean I have never experienced real fear? That my fear is invalid? That it doesn't need to be addressed and dispelled because it isn't serious enough? When I've shared my fears, I've received mixed support. Sometimes, I got a terse "Pull yourself together!"; other times, I was held and comforted. "You will not fear the terror of the night, or the arrow that flies by day, or the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or the destruction that wastes at noonday." —Psalm 91:15–16 Unseen Protection When she was very young, one of my daughters suffered from night terrors. Night terrors are nightmares on mega-steroids, wild -eyed–screaming-and-running-for- your-life events. Her fear was raw, physical and emo- tional—a real, present danger. Her dad and I scrambled to protect her—not from the night terror itself, but from her terror-filled self as she flailed and fought to escape the thing we couldn't see or touch. We were there watch- ing over our child, keeping her safe, even though she wasn't aware of it. Fear is real; some fearsome things are dangerous, others not so much. But the fear itself is real and debilitating. Fear stops us from trusting, believing, healing and grow- ing. Fear stifles us—whether we are pinned down by the terror of unrelenting gunfire or hammering fists; pum- meled by the violence of churning winds and crushing floods; scarred by acid-soaked hate speech; or imprisoned by our insecurities. And through all this, God is with us, telling us "Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you" (Isa. 41:10). Revelation: God's love is perfect; God's perfect love casts out fear. In our imperfection, we will continue to bat- tle the terrors of the night, but we are not alone. God is with us. Cecilia Amorocho Hickerson is a mother, spouse, church musician, artist and writer living in Louisville, Kentucky. We Are Not Alone BY CECILIA AMOROCHO HICKERSON Hand, Heart, Flow, Deborah Koff-Chapin