Horizons magazine is published by Presbyterian Women (PW) the national women’s organization of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).
Issue link: http://horizons.epubxp.com/i/52581
Resurrection Parenting ᑀᑀᑀ BY AMY STARR REDWINE R ecently, when filling out a preschool application, I had to answer the question, "What is unique about your child's home environment?" It was January, which, in our two-pastor family, usually means we are negotiating work and childcare schedules around hospital visits and funerals, both of which seem to increase exponentially after the holidays. With some trepidation, we have decided that it's too diffi- cult to hide this part of our ministry from our children; after all, it affects us emotionally and it impacts the whole family when our usual routines change to accommodate serv- ices, visits and funeral planning. So, when I am asked what is unique about our home environ- ment, I can't help but wonder whether it's unique that we talk to our children about sickness and death on a somewhat regular basis. At first I worried that we might be overexposing our children to the darker side of life. Then it occurred to me that there is simply no way around it—death is part of life. It also is a crucial part of our faith. With his death and resurrection, Jesus teaches us that the new life God promises comes only through the death of the old life. Speaking of his death (through which he also is glorified), Jesus says, "Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruitᑀ (John 12:24). 44 at the grace and goodness of God revealed to us in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ—all the while keeping in mind that his death was as necessary as his resurrection? Sometimes, days after my Like us, children experience loss, pain and suffering in many different forms—forms that may appear triv- ial to us but are devastating to them. Talking about death as a part of life can help them learn not to avoid painful emotions but rather to accept them as part of a full and rich life, and as a necessary part of growth and change. Mystery and Blessing Talking about death also gives us an opportunity to remind our children that there are mysteries in life and in faith that even we, the adults, don't completely understand. This, too, is a lesson in the nature of faith, which is a mysterious mixture of belief, hope, uncertainty and won- der. What better gift can we offer our children—than a sense of awe husband or I have gone on a hospital visit or officiated at a service of witness to the res- urrection, one of our chil- dren will remember the name of the person we visited or buried and ask how they are doing or remember them in their prayers. At first it felt strange to pray for someone who had died, but I love that, for my children, the line between life and death does not appear as thickly drawn as it does to me. I have come to value such con- versations with my children about life, death and the mystery of faith. Amazingly, they seem to accept quite naturally that life as we know it will end for each of us one day. They also accept that even their minister parents don't have the answers to all of their questions about life and faith. In fact, in spite of that, they seem to deeply trust that whatever comes after the life they know is in God's hands, and so, in some fundamental way, will be okay. May we all know such comfort! Amy Starr Redwine is the part-time solo pastor of Firestone Presbyterian Church in Akron, Ohio. f ai t hf ul par enting Thinkstock.com