Horizons magazine is published by Presbyterian Women (PW) the national women’s organization of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).
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faith with me. These are the memo- ries that will last for the rest of my life. These are the memories that tell me who my grandparents really were. My most treasured gift from my grandparents is a book they wrote for me that tells stories from their lives and reveals what they valued and found important. Such a book is an ethical will. Even though I remember them telling me these stories, I go back and read their book often. Every time I read it, I feel like I am back at the kitchen table, listening to them. What Is an Ethical Will? An ethical will is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your family. Ethical wills come to us from the Jewish tradition, and they are now becoming popular among people of all different faiths. The idea of an eth- ical will is based in biblical teachings. In Genesis 49, Jacob gathers his sons around him, imparts his blessing upon them and requests to be buried with his family in Canaan. In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, God commands us to teach our children the values passed down to us through our faith. In Deuteronomy 32:46–47, God com- mands us to be holy people and to teach our children to be holy. While preaching the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches the listening crowd about his values, through the Beatitudes (Mt. 5:1–12 and Lk. 6:20–26). In John 13:34–35, Jesus gives the disciples a new command- ment—to love one another as Christ loves. Part of loving others is sharing with them what we believe. At first, ethical wills were com- municated orally, but later they evolved into written documents attached to legal wills. Now, they often are written documents that are shared with family members while the author is still alive. Just as with legal wills, waiting until you are dying is not the best time to write an ethical will. The time to write one is now. You might be a young person about to marry and wanting to share your values with your spouse-to-be; a young parent want- ing to share your hopes and dreams with your new baby; a new grand- parent wanting to pass down your family stories to your new grand- children; or someone facing the end of life and wanting to share what you have learned from life with your family.* Regardless of your age and cir- cumstances, you can gain many ben- efits from writing an ethical will. As you write and share your thoughts with others, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself. You can share your true thoughts, perhaps correcting what others believed you thought. You can pass on stories that might be lost forever if they are not recorded. You provide your loved ones the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and to see how you dealt with your hardships. You can find a sense of completion to your life, knowing that your values and stories will live on long after you are gone. And most importantly, by sup- plementing your will with an ethical will, you can pass on not only your valuables, but also your values, to your family, leaving them a treasure more precious than any material gift. How To Write an Ethical Will So if writing an ethical will is such a great idea, how do you go about writing one? You could go out and buy a book that has questions for you to answer, or you could create your own. The components typically found in an ethical will include: an opening, your life story, your faith stories, your values and beliefs, and a closing. So, find a comfortable place to reflect on your life and begin writing. The following questions will help you get started on writing your own ethical will. The opening: An ethical will begins by identifying the people to whom you are writing (e.g., "to my grandchildren, Nancy and Will," or "to my children, Sarah and Eric"). The next step is to describe why you are writing the ethical will. Some examples include: "I am writ- ing this ethical will because • I love you. • I want to share my values and beliefs with you. • I want to share my life stories with you. • I want to share my dreams and hopes for you. • I want you to know how important you are to me. • I want to recount my life to you. • I want to be remembered long after I am gone." Your life story: If your parents or grandparents did not leave an ethical will, you might want to start with their family stories. Think about the following questions and respond to them as if you were talk- ing with the people to whom you are writing. Who were your family members? What are your fondest memories of your family members? November/December 2011 17